Sorrento Cycling Club

I received a text at 8.30 from Stephen asking if I could lead the faithful as he had had horrible headaches and heavings as a result of  an horrendous helping of Guinness at the Christmas party. So I followed the holy tour route he gave me . Me, POD, William and Andy ascended the red lane, across Calary commons and up the side of Djouce woods we rode. Snow and ice greeted us as we joined the WW and the North wind blew us sideways up toward the summit. I told Paul  (a Djouce virgin) that a secret Holy Tree grew on the summit and anyone who picked from it a red berry would have eternal life and a be filled with grace and strenght. With 500 metres still to climb we carried our bikes and Jesus only knows it was a hard thing to do. On legs weak and wobbly, we battled into the bitter wind -10 C. Finally we reached the summit in the swirling freezing fog. POD rushed about the top, searching everywhere. Then he started screaming, pointing at the cairn on the summit……."Lir, Lir"…….we looked up in the sky but there was only a big crow flapping in the swirling air. Again, this time stamping his feet. he pointed at me , he screamed "Lir, Lir". I offered him a healthy fruit bar as I don't normally carry expensive chocolates with me on spins. " LiR, F…ing LIR" he shreaks….still pointing at me. I looked  directly behind me, sensing a presence there………….the huddled figure of a person stood swaying in the by now artic air………..goose bumps rose all over me as I watched the Shakesperean ghost with no eyes. Yes POD I see him King Lear……………………..POd ran at me. grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, swung me around away from the "walker" and pointed at the summit…………"Der is noo ucking 'oly twee on this ucking  'oly mountain and ure a 'uking LIR!!!"………….you see the right side of POD's face was frozen solid…………sorry POD but you dragged us up the Motte Stone four tours in a row………anyway the roads were too icy!! Down we descended on top of four feet of frozen snow…………….weeeeeeeee…..tumble, tumble………….weeeeeeeeee and in for steaming hot coffee, scones smothered in cream and jam at Djouce golf club and home…………….next week we search for the burning bush on the Holy mountain of Tonlagee!