Sorrento Cycling Club

Ok…ok …..I got the money and the phone but if you want those funny green tablets back (that were embedded in the sweaty banana), you better call  Aidan. as for the "fig"roll bar….well now Paul they did not look like figs to us…Rose took a nibble and flew up the Glen out of sight. UCI inspectors are on their way….nee..naaw…nee naaw

WELL NOW …WHERE WILL I START THE STORY…. IN THE MIDDLE MAKES THE MOST SENSE TO ME (IT DOES NOT HAVE TO MAKE SENSE TO YOU …SSSHHHH) ….THE TOUR WAS CRUISING ALONG NICELY. PEOPLE CHATTED AND CAUGHT UP ON EACH OTHER’S ADVENTURES. …AIDAN SKING IN THE ALPS, ROSE AND JOHN  CYCLING AND BINGE DRINKING IN LANZAROTTE, THE REST OF US SNOW MTB’ IN WICKLOW (FOR FREE)……YOU GET THE DRIFT…PLEASANT…THE SINGING OF BIRDS, MILD WIND RUFFLING THE GRASS AS WE TOURED DOWN TO THE COAST ROAD  AND RATHNEW AND UP THE BEEHIVE , NICE…..BUT IT STARTED IN NOISY TRAFFIC AND TRUCKS BELCHING FUMES …GOOD GRIEF THE N11 IS A LOVELY PLACE… COMPARED TO THE SOMME IN 1915…..THEN IT BECAME TRANQUIL…….AS I SAID,  BUT A SMALL MECHANICAL GREMLIN HAD HOPPED ON TO A FEW BIKES AS WE CLIMBED UP TO BALLINAMEESDA  AND VINDICTIVELY WENT  ABOUT IT’S EVIL WORK  (AS ALL SORRENTO RIDERS MAINTAIN THERE BIKES WITH GREAT DILIGENCE-THIS IS THE ONLY REASON I HAVE TO EXPLAIN WHAT WAS HAPPENING)…..FIRST OFF ENDA’S BIKE WAS ATTACKED (WE WAITED) THEN THE EX-CHAIRMAN’S BIKE ( THIS WAS A BIKE POD BARTERED FOR A BAR OF CHOCOLATE FROM THE PARISH PRIEST OF KNOCKFADDA)  A VERY FINE BIKE IT WAS  UNTIL THE UNHOLY GREMLIN BROKE THE GEAR HANGER IN HALF ( POD INSISTED IT  DID NOT HIT THE SPOKES….GREMLIN DID IT)…..THEN THE WHOLE OF BRAY WHEELERS WIZZED BY …170 OF THEM…WITNESSES TO THE  GREMLIN’S WORK ! PRAISE THE …PAUL QUICKLY TURNED HIS BARTERED BIKE INTO A SINGLE SPEED FLOPPY-CHAINED STEED, UNTIL OF COURSE THE CHAIN JUMPED UP A SPROCKET AND THE STEED  TURNED INTO A VERY HIGH TENSIONED COFFEE GRINDER ( B…..GREMLIN) WE DESCENDED…WE ASCENDED…….WE RODE ON THE FLAT….THROUGH THE FLOODED ROADS OF BRITTAS BAY WHERE STREAMS HAD BECOME RIVERS AND POOLS HAD TURNED INTO LAKES  AND THE TRAFFIC OF WICKLOW TOWN ( ROB TEASED US WITH HIS VICTUALS AS WE CLAKKED  BY   )….YES THE COFFEE GRINDER  WORKED IT’S MAGIC,WALTER MITTYWOULD HAVE THOUGHT HE WAS  IN THE BELLY OF A TIGER TANK…..UNTIL FINALLY UNDER GREAT TENSION THE (NEW) CHAIN BURST APART IN THE MIDDLE OF NEWTOWN…….YIPEEE! PRAISE THE…(SILENCE ALMOST REIGNED)…..ME AND AIDAN PUSHED THE BLUSHING BRIDE ALL THE WAY BACK HOME ( I CAN WALK, I CAN WALK,  PAUL PROTESTED BUT WE ALL KNOW HE CAN’T)…..PAUL BEING A FAMOUS FIGURE IN THE LOCALITY SHOCKED THE LOCALS…..(POOR LAD ALWAYS SAID ONE DAY HE’D JUST BLOW A GASKET….LOOK AT THE ROSY CHEECKS OF HIM……POOR LAD AND THOSE OLD LADS PUSHING HIM)…SOMEONE CALL A DOCTOR  (FOR ME OR AIDAN)….AND SO ENDED ANOTHER TOUR…MORAL OF THE STORY IS :  DIANA ROSS WAS RIGHT! STARTED 10.09 FINISHED 2.30 ISH